Scribbles

2010-05-21T22:55:00.001+08:00

2009-03-28T20:31:00.002+08:00

Was reading through all my previous entries just now. I'm really bored as I'm doing COS duty now with nothing to do. Anyway the entries brought back a flood of memories in me. Some made me reminisce, some made me cry and while some brought back the heartaches.

Anyway I realised the way I blog last time is different from how I blog now. The style isn't important, but I realised I started leaving out alot of things. Things like xD, =D, =P and all the smileys you can think of. I'm thinking army is taking the fun out of me. I feel so lifeless now, like life doesn't really have meaning anymore. Can't wait to ORD!

Confessions of a shopaholic is a not bad show. Chick flick lol.

2009-01-12T20:42:00.002+08:00

Ok I think I should blog something to revive this dead blog of mine. First post of 2009 too.

Since so many people are doing reflections of their past year, I shall do the same. 2008 would be a significant year for most people around me. Guys enlisting into the army, gals starting their university lives. It's a new experience for all of us. Looking back, I didn't know what to expect of army and now, I'm a 1 year soldier already. 1 year just flew past, hopefully the next 10 months would come fast too.

BMT. I tried my best to get into OCS, for the pride for the money whatever. I believed I aced my SIT test, but in the wrong way. I was too involved in all the 'dirty' work and I forgot about the planning part. Officers were supposed to plan and talk, while specialists were supposed to make it happen. That's why I'm now a specialist.

Sispec, BSLC. Again, I tried my best to crossover to OCS. Didn't make it in the end too. I believe I was in the top few of Bravo Company, or at least 3rd within my platoon. For reasons unknown our OC decided to send just one guy for the interview while other companies sent like 7 or 8. Chance gone.

Sispec, ASLC. Gave up totally. Even my section instructor noticed the difference in me and my attitude towards training. I didn't know what to tell him. Anyway, I just faded into the background, not even fighting for the silver bayonet. Somehow, I just couldn't muster enough strength within me to continue fighting, cause there has been too many setbacks.

5SIR. Fucked up camp and several fucked up people. Since I was posted there, I have been doing the same amount of duties as what others would be doing for a year. Yea I lost my life inside there. Before the men enlisted, we 'specialists' were doing guard duty, COS duty, area cleaning. You name it, we did it. Scrubbing the road kerb of algae, painting it black and white, plucking weeds, cleaning the toilets, cleaning the bunks, cleaning fucking magazines in the armskote, cleaning the GPMG etc. The general feeling within us specialists was that we were worse than banglas. So much for the 3SG rank on our sleeves. Fuck it I say.

Seriously, it was during this period of time that I started developing funny thoughts. I'm not joking. I was suicidal and sometimes it got worse than that. Doing guard duty provided easy access to guns and bullets and the thoughts passed through my mind frequently. Yea thats how bad it got. Now I'm just hoping my ORD will come sooner and that I don't do funny things.

Of course, through this one year in NS, I have made several friends. Friends who were willing to help me out, who suffered with me. Of course there's always the opposite. People who cared only about covering their own ass and people who are only good at talking. It also made me realise that Singapore is indeed very small. Everyone is linked to everyone, just check it out on facebook.

Aside from army, I must say I have enjoyed myself in the company of my friends. Climbers, scouts, classmates. Being around others sort of makes me forget about all the unhappy things in my life and I'm glad for that. I also think I'm more or less over the thing I couldn't let go in the past, cause of some company that I had. If only some things could make themselves clearer it would be even better. Right now I'm still unsure.

Well, it's been a long post. Good ranting about the past. Time to start afresh.

2008-12-20T09:13:00.002+08:00

It's been quite sometime since I last blogged and so many things have been happening until I dunno where to start.

121208 - PTP enlistment
The day where the men got posted into 5SIR camp. Nothing provided us on what to expect from taking men and I guess it's something that can't be explained in words anyway. Throughout this 1 week with the recruits, I found that taking men is a very tiring job, even though sometimes it doesn't seem that way. Sometimes there will be the feeling of contradiction, as at one point you would be f-ing them and the other you would be feeling proud of them for their enthusiasm thus far. Actually from what I see so far, men aren't all that bad. Sure, there would be chao-keng kia and attitude problem people, but there are also some who are fiercely loyal and would make a good soldier.

Enough about army I guess. But apart from army I dun have much of a life anyway. Life sucks for me. Things always dun go the way I want it to be, especially certain things. Yesterday night I didn't know how to react to something. Should I be sad? Angry? Did I expect it all along? Or am I reading too much into things? Truthfully speaking, I think the biggest flaw with me is my inability to interpret certain things correctly, something like reading between the lines. More often than not, my interpretation would be wrong, which makes it harder and harder for me to trust myself when it comes to this kind of things.

How many people have seen me troubled before, unsmiling and moody? I guess not many.
It seems like I'm good at concealing my emotions and forcing out a laugh. Sometimes I wonder why I do that. Maybe I just dun want to trouble others with my own problems. Maybe I'm just afraid to let others know that I'm troubled. Maybe I'm trying too hard to let others feel good around me while I keep my emotions inside. It's kind of tiring and I dunno how long I can keep this up.

Hah my blog seems like the only place to pour out all my troubles. What a loser.

2008-11-15T17:21:00.002+08:00

Life kinda sucks in camp, as some people like to impose their thinking on others and because of that new rules and restrictions come in. So what if they are higher-ranked or have several achievements in the army? I seriously don't give a damn. If not for my weekends or my ORD in 1 year's time, I don't know what I would do. But on the other hand, some people just makes me want to give my best for this last 1 year, and I believe many others feel the same way too. It's kinda contradicting, as one moment I would be like 'Fuck it' while the other I would be convincing myself to go for it. In short, I just can't wait for the 1 year to be up. Life as an INFANTRY SPECIALIST ain't a bed of roses, cause we feel more like MEN WITH THREE STRIPES.

Anyway, on a lighter note, I went to Double O yday with my Bravo Coy mates after the company cohesion BBQ. $30 entrance fee cause we went at like 1am. Ouch! But at least the drinks are cheaper than Zouk ( 1 jug costs like $12 at dbl O ) and the music was way better. Seriously feel like going again soon, cause yday we went late and was only there for like 2 hours. Saw like 2 people getting wasted and falling off their seats haha. Waited for the NightRider bus only to realise that I just missed it. Walked all the way to Outram Mrt station, and since it was still early decided to walk all the way to City Hall. Planned my route on the bus stop map outside Outram Mrt and luckily didn't go holland haha. Actually wanted to walk to Bugis but couldn't find any maps around the bus stops so suck thumb. I almost overslept on the mrt and on the bus home, luckily waking up at the very last moment to alight.

This would have been a great weekend as I booked out on Thursday afternoon, if only there wasn't any guard duty tml. Haiz booking in early on weekends suck. 2150 somemore! LLST.

Actually being a space-man wouldn't be so bad! ( Not literally an astronaut!! )

2008-11-05T15:01:00.000+08:00

Going back to the corner,
where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag,
I'm not gonna move
Got some words on cardboard
Got your picture in my hand
Saying "if you see this girl can you tell her where I am"
Some try to hand me money
They don't understand,
I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man
I know it makes no sense
What else can I do?
How can I move on
when I'm still in love with you?

Cause' if one day you wake up
and find that your missing me
and your heart starts to wonder
where on this earth I could be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here
to the place that we'd meet
Then you'd see me waiting for you
on the corner of the street,
So I'm not moving
I'm not moving

Policeman says "Son you cant sit here"
I say there's someone I'm waiting for if its a day, a month, a year,
Gotta stand my ground,
even if it rains or snows,
If she changes her mind,
this is the first place she will go

Cause' if one day you wake up
and find that your missing me
and your heart starts to wonder
where on this earth I could be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here
to the place that we'd meet
Then you'd see me waiting for you
on the corner of the street,
So I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving

People talk about the guy,
thats waiting in on a girl
Woooaah -oooh
There are no holes in his shoes,
But a big hole in his world
Oooooh
Maybe I'll get famous as the man who can't be moved,
and maybe you wont mean to but you'll see me on the news,
and you'd come running to the corner,
Cause' you know its just to move you
I'm the man who cant be moved
I'm the man who cant be moved

Cause' if one day you wake up,
and find that your missing me,
and your heart starts to wonder
where on this earth I could be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here
to the place that we'd meet
and you'd see me waiting for you
on the corner of the street
so I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving
(Cause' if one day you wake up,
and find that your missing me,
and your heart starts to wonder
where on this earth I could be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here
to the place that we'd meet
and you'd see me waiting for you
on the corner of the street)

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag; I'm not gonna move.

2008-11-01T19:51:00.000+08:00

I'm 19! =D

Thanks to all who remembered :)

2008-10-19T17:08:00.001+08:00

Wad a dead blog. Lol.

2008-09-07T21:23:00.002+08:00

Well for those who still don't know, I'm in 5 SIR, which stands for 5th Battalion Singapore Infantry Regiment. It's located at Bukit Panjang camp, up a hill and next to Mindef. Quite an old camp sadly. Anyway currently I'm attending the GPMG Commander course back at Pasir Laba Camp SISPEC. I feel more at home back there, which was one of the reasons why I volunteered for the course in the first place. We are treated more like commanders back there and it sure feels good. No more trainee anymore.

Weekend was short :( Spent it climbing and watching Bangkok Dangerous on Saturday. Today was basically slacking at home, although I did go down to beach road and to get a haircut.

Sometimes I feel like I'm missing something in my life.

2008-08-24T00:00:00.002+08:00

And so I came back from Taiwan, passed out as a 3SG, got posted to 5 SIR, met up with the climbers today. Yea that about sums up my life this past week.

Taiwan. Experienced my first typhoon there. Heavy rain and strong winds. Temperature there reached a high of 36 degC in the day while at night I shivered in my wet uniform. Terrain mountainous and challenging. Not exactly the best treatment received there. But hey, I survived. R&R was great. Shihlin and Ximending were great places to shop, the endless crowd of people and not to mention the cute girls that Taiwan has to offer.

Passed out on Thursday, parents came down to watch and put on my chevrons. Got a few photos, but I'm lazy to upload =/ Posted out to 5 SIR, taking 1st year men. "Swift, Deadly, Silent"

Lunch outing today with the climbers at Breeks. Had melted chicken pattie which was quite good, but not quite filling. Swensen's apple crumble after that, couldn't finish it as it was too sweet and I got sick of it lol. Watched Meet Dave after that with the guys who didn't need to book in and the girls who didn't need to rush home. Quite a nice show, funny and touching. Next movies to watch: Money No Enough 2 and Wall.E. Anyone free? =D

Sometimes I feel so tired of putting on a smile, that false facade, even when I'm unhappy.
Sometimes I don't even know why I feel this way. Please stop this.
Anyway do take care, because I won't be around anymore.

2008-07-25T22:13:00.002+08:00

Taiwan here I come!

Back in 3 weeks~
Take care everyone :)

2008-07-21T14:39:00.002+08:00

Taiwan in 4 days! And with it marks the soon-to-end journey of mine in SISPEC and the start of a 3SG's journey. Hopefully it will be fun in Taiwan!

From the way things are going, I think I will be heading to Taiwan with some unhappiness inside of me. Last week I made a very bad decision which resulted in much trouble and unhappiness for my family. Actually the right decision wasn't hard to make, but I was rash and not thinking at that time. I quite regret for being so reckless that day. :(

Another thing I won't reveal here, but it's got something to do with my foolishness perhaps? The phrase "Man proposes, God disposes" quite applies here too. Take your time and guess.

:(

2008-07-13T18:55:00.002+08:00

I'm back from Grandslam II!!!

Supposed to be inserted in with helicopters, but didn't get the chance to in the end. Heard Kilo Company will get the choppers this week. Like wtf?! They get to sit in one and we don't. !@#$%

Rained like free for all 3 days we were outfield. Crossed river rain. Dig finish rain. Just change rain. Zzz. Can't even keep myself dry. Foot smiling whole time soak in water.

Slept like total 10 hours for 3 days. And that was because I got the MG role in ASO, so can slack abit. =X But to carry the MG and run is no joke. Almost die lor.

The last day was freezing cold in the early morning. While waiting to move out almost froze over already. Teeth chattering and all. Then went into temporary harbour where we rested. Freezing cold also. Whole body shaking brrr. I think I should get more fats into my body. =X

Anyway enough about army. Ltr I kena charge =X

Watched 2 movies this weekend. Hellboy 2 and Red Cliff. Lol must be too long nvr watch movie already so now chiong hahaha. I'm broke now so anyone wanna treat me to dinner or something? =X

I realised my blog is boring without pictures and all. But too bad army doesnt allow cameras and all :( Nvm after I come back from taiwan I shall post some pictures.

2 more weeks :)

2008-07-06T18:21:00.002+08:00

Time for my weekly post!

Ippt last week and I finally got gold! $200 whoo! First time I got gold too, had silvers all the previous times. Now left only SOC to clear.

Won't be getting my CSB badge before I POP even though I participated in all the major events, due to my ATP shoot. Lousy f***-ed up Bravo rifles!

School sports day was on Saturday. Bravo got overall champions! Basketball 1st, Tug-of-war 1st, Route-relay 2nd, Volleyball 3rd. What's surprising is that the tug-of-war and volleyball teams were formed like randomly lol. Still can win, nothing to say (:

Upcoming week I'm going outfield again. Zzz. Grandslam 2 coming right up. Hopefully I come back alive =X

Taiwan in 3 weeks! Don't miss me when I'm gone! =P

2008-06-22T16:43:00.003+08:00

Hmm just a short update. Got no feeling to really blog lol.

Let's see...

6 weeks into ASLC, 8 more to go before my 3SG rank comes. Completed 32km route march on Tuesday/Wednesday and I'm proud of it :) Furthermore, I hit 10 out of 10 targets for the ATP shoot straight after that :)) Haha anyway, the 32km was really damn taxing both physically and mentally. But hey, I completed it!

I'm getting sick of army life already. Starting to miss my bed at home frequently lol. And I realised I have no life :O Book out, sleep, wake up play comp, eat, sleep, book in. Yea that's about the routine I have every weekend haha.

4 more weeks to Taiwan!

//And I'm still living in the past.

2008-06-08T16:48:00.002+08:00

Well it's time to book in again. Zzz.

Congrats to Philip and Kelly on their marriage! =D

Upcoming week. Outfield outfield and more outfield! =( Booking out next Saturday most probably due to navigation on Friday. Where got sian. Zzz.

Trainee life sucks! Rah.

2008-05-17T20:06:00.002+08:00

CPL J Y LOH!

Another 13weeks for the 3SG rank. Zzz such a long time. Don't even know whether can survive ASLC anot :(

So I just passed out of BSLC today, after a gruelling 28km route march. I couldn't feel my legs after that, really. The 28km route march, or the National Education march as they call it, started off at the Kranji War Memorial. Quite an eye-opener for me as I didn't know such a place even existed. Was filled with many thoughts as I walked past rows after rows of neatly arranged tombstones with the names of the fallen soldiers engraved onto them. Some didn't even have names on them, which was quite sad to see. They sacrificed themselves in their line of duty, which left me deeply in awe and respect. This was the reality of war, the cruelty of it. The number of graves there were but just a small representation of the actual amount of soldiers who laid down their lives in the war.

Anyway, the 28km route march was really tiring and for most of the walk it was pretty mental already. Thoughts of falling out were in my head as I pushed on and I'm proud to say I have completed the 28km route march :)

Next phase of training : ASLC
13weeks of hell before I pass out as a 3SG. Hopefully get posted to Tekong if I managed to complete the course.

A quote from Kranji War Memorial
-They died for all free men.
-為所有自由人而死

2008-05-04T16:57:00.002+08:00

And it's time to book in... Again zz!

The long weekend for me was rather good. Been so long since I spent so many days sleeping on my own bed lol. Not having to wake up at 0515 is a good thing too. But I think these few days out and all the junk food I ate is going to kill me soon. Theres SOC tml and I seriously dun think I can run hahaha.

Going back to Tekong this week for 4 days. Tuesday to Friday for Ex Wanderer and Ex Grandslam. Hopefully can book out on Friday. *crosses fingers* Better not be a heatwave over there, else I'm gonna come back roasted.

Anyway, I received letters from both NTU and NUS already. Accepted into Chemical Engineering for both. =D Most probably going to accept the NUS one, but I'm still going to leave my options open for the time being. I'm happy to hear any opinions from anybody.

Book in book in book in day!

2008-05-01T21:18:00.003+08:00

I'm FINALLY back! After 9 days of training. Rawr!

Tiring week I had. Didn't get enough sleep due to the number of outfield trainings. I slept 2 hours on Sunday night and woke up for field camp the next day. Imba. Weather also very 'nice', surely not hot like hell.

2 more weeks to CPL rank. Next week going back Tekong again. So sian. 4 days of exercises in Tekong sure shag out one. Can't wait for all of this to end. Zzz.

Went out with the climbers today for a get-together with Mr Tan. Ate at MOF, quite nice but my wallet not happy already. Lol. After that slack around Marina Square, couldn't decide wad else to do. Quite hard to find something for both guys and gals to do. Only things I can think of are movies, dining, climbing and talking cock. Lol.

Somehow I can't really find things to blog about. Maybe army really turns your brains into porridge. Byebye >.<

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
I gave up.

2008-04-13T13:59:00.001+08:00

I want my freedom back. =(

2008-03-28T21:41:00.001+08:00

2008-03-22T22:56:00.002+08:00

Long time no blog! Been too lazy to update =X

Anyway. Posted to SISPEC, booking in on monday. At least there's no confinement. ;D

Went down to watch boulderactive this past 2 days. Reminded me of the times we had in climbing. Sweaty palms from watching the competitors do the routes. How I wish we could have joined too. Haha. Congrats and good luck to the juniors who made it through to the finals!

Been going out everyday since POP. Getting abit poor already. But I still wanna get a crumpler cause my old nike bag has been spoilt for dunno how long.

Sian I'm getting so used to civilian life already. Army life is gonna be bad. =(

I hope fate isn't playing tricks on me. =/

Stop & Stare by OneRepublic

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see

They're tryin to come back, all my senses push
Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need

What u need, what u need...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...

2008-03-02T13:21:00.002+08:00

9 more days to POP!

Silver for IPPT. 20 secs lesser and it would be a gold. Damn.
Cleared SOC in around 6 mins. Run like dog.
Finished 16km route march on saturday.
Threw a live grenade on wednesday.

In short, as my OC puts it, NO MORE SAD STORIES! =D
I'm left with 24km route march to clear this week and it's preparation for POP all the way. Finally.

Booking in early today. Damn sian! =(

2008-02-06T20:15:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year to all! =)

Somehow, the festive mood isn't there this year. Have no idea why, but now cny just seems like any other normal day. After this cny break I'm going for field camp already. 6 days out in the field, sure kena tekan like hell. Straight after field camp comes SIT test, another 3 days out zzz. I pray A level results dun come out any time soon, if not I can't collect it on the day itself. Can only suck thumb sia like that.

Anyway had IPPT again today. Managed to get a silver. Haha not bad already the last time I failed cos I didn't run for ages. Somemore I was down with sore throat + cough + running nose.

Had live range in the past 2 days. We had to wake up at 0445 to prepare for it and we reached the range in the early morning. And guess wad, the range warden didn't come at all. He went AWOL and we had to wait for a replacement. He came at around 2+? Then it was revealed the electricity to the range was DOWN. Had to wait for the maintenance ppl to fix it and it wasn't until 3+ that we finally started. Murphy's Law sia. Night shoot sucked for me. I was quite sure I didn't get any of the targets, but they didn't ask me for reshoot. So it could be that the system cock up and didn't light up the targets even when I hit. Anyway day shoot was much better. Out of 16 rounds I hit 15! Wooo! Lol.

Ok I can't think of anything more to blog already, so happy new year to all again!

2008-01-27T20:31:00.000+08:00

Lol I'm back from army and I dunno what to blog about. Anyway I'm in Ninja Company if you guys didn't know. Sounds cool eh? Haha.

Ok here are some interesting quotes from army:

"Don't show me the world is cruel and men are selfish"

"You c***b** asking for f*** is it"

"What did the ground tell you"

Suddenly dunno wad to blog about. Lost my blogging sense already. Anyway I'm booking in tml, so byebye to all again. =(

//And I first dreamt of you

2008-01-08T22:34:00.000+08:00

How time flies! It felt like only yesterday when I was busy mugging for the A levels, and now its time for me to serve the nation! HAHA!

Limzy's mentality for army : "Every man for himself" LOL!
That's so gonna screw him. I pity those in the same platoon as him *crosses fingers* Rongjun, good luck to you man!

I'm so going to miss the freedom I have now. Monster-hunting, night-cycling, bouldering, sleeping in late, waking up when everyone else is at school/work and going online as and when I like. Aww those were the days!

Ok this is going to be the last entry I'm gonna blog in a long long time. Good luck and have fun to everyone out there working/slacking/studying! =D

NS BECKONS!

Bye everyone! Don't miss me! =P

2008-01-03T19:25:00.000+08:00

First blog post of 2008! Woot!

Ok so a few days of 2008 has passed. Didn't blog cause have been busy going out and stuff lol. But still, hope 2008 would be a good year for all :)

Hmm lets see. The last day of `07 was spent at Darren's house bbq-ing(and fighting TIGREX too lmao). We sort of counted down in front of the television while on our PSPs lol. After the countdown we went NIGHT CYCLING! Wahaha been long since I went night cycling. Damn fun to cycle on the roads at night with lesser cars, chionging down the bridges at insane speeds and cycling without hands for a whole stretch of road! Adrenalin rush wooo! Weicheng brought us to Punggol Beach which had insane roads(full of uphills and downhills). Tiring! We even took photos on a bulldozer! LOL! Pictures still with WC. Jalan Kayu for prata after that! Satisfying meal after cycling so much although the pratas were all at jacked up prices. 90 cents for a plain roti prata can you believe it?! Haha but since we cycled so far to reach there might as well enjoy the meal. I would say their pratas are better than those found elsewhere, but thats just me =D Cycled back to Darren's house where we chatted about how army life is going to be. Interesting chat we had sitting outside his house. After that cycled back home all the way from hougang to tampines.

Reached home, slept 2 hours and I was going out already. Bel's house for some monster hunting, jio-ed by Darren. He basket jio people go at 1pm and he woke up at like 2+. Anyway I noticed something when I boarded the bus. ONE BEEP FROM EZLINK CARD!!! ADULT FARE OMFG! $1.29 to reach Bel's house, like wtf? So don't forget to tap your ezlink card when you get down from the bus, or else you GG! Also don't need to try cheating the bus drivers by putting in 55cents. Nowadays they would ask you to tap your card on the reader and they can straight away know your concession is no more. I know cause I tried :) !#$%-ing SBS earning millions in PROFITS each year is so freaking stingy over that few cents. We are currently unemployed and waiting to serve the country for a grand sum of $400 per month! At this rate transport fees can kill. Screwed!

TJCCC Chalet yesterday. Meeting time 1.30pm only like 5 people there, in the end checked in to chalet at like 3.30? Quite sad the chalet 1 day only, like that where got fun! Bbq-ed, mahjong-ed, blackjack-ed, monster hunter-ed yea thats about all. Didn't sleep at all until I reached home. Was dozing off on the bus home already lol.

Anyway according to my mum, today is the 100th day since my grandma passed away. So we went down just now to pray. Can you believe that I had tears in my eyes as we stood before the spot where the urn holding her ashes were placed(dunno whats it called). My grandma is my greatest loss in the 18 years of my life, but I'm glad too that she's no longer in suffering :)

Nowadays when I wake up, the house is empty and I would be thinking of the people going to school, going to work, while I have absolutely nothing to do. Carefree lifestyle eh? Nah my carefree lifestyle is going to end soon.

6 more days to NS! Oh my!
Don't miss me! =D

2007-12-29T23:50:00.000+08:00

4F outing today. Supposedly was to catch a movie first before dinner, but different people watched like different movies already, so it didn't work out. Went to the arcade instead and watched people spam their 1 dollar coins on the candy machine that lets you win big plushies as a jackpot prize. Damn illogical to spend so much money to get candy and its not guaranteed that they will get the prize. Had pizza hut for dinner and the waitress kind of cock up our orders. But in the end we got a 'bonus'. Thanks pizza hut :) Oh yea send me the pics we took!

Anyway on a sidenote, I suddenly feel like there's so much I want to say to certain people, but somehow I can't bring myself to do it. I'm afraid of the kind of response I will get, especially those of being dao-ed. But worse would be a conversation thats kind of fake, as in both parties would try to seem as if nothing ever went wrong between them when its quite obvious its the other way round. I'm quite tired of trying, really.

Sometimes I tell myself to forget it cause its really hopeless, but the other part of me would hope against hope that things would turn out the way I hope it would. Thats quite naive of me I admit. But I really can't get myself to get over it.

I'm not really emo-ing right now. Its just that I have alot of thoughts and I really need to get it all out.

I'm sorry for all the things I did, all the unhappiness I caused.

2007-12-25T23:31:00.000+08:00

MERRY XMAS TO ALL!

Ok so christmas has come and gone. No festive mood for me however. After having fever for like more than 1 week, my stomach decided to rebel on me today! Amazing how I even survived all the extra gastric juices my stomach produced! It's torturous I tell you.

Damn its 15 days to NS and I'm so unfit! Screw the illness!

2007-12-13T20:38:00.000+08:00

I realised it's been quite long since I blogged. Been neglecting my poor blog haha.

Let's see what happened these past few days.

Monday had dinner at Muthu's Curry with the club to welcome Mr Tan back. 20 dollars for dinner! I'm broke =(

Tuesday was the sentosa outing! With the juniors and the other Mr Tan lol. Quite on sia both the juniors and Mr Tan. Lucky it didn't rain heavily at Sentosa. Ended up with my back burned from beach volleyball and beach soccer.

After dinner at PastaMania we went over to Darren's house for a stayover. Mahjong-ed and sang songs LOL. Quite gay! HAHAHA! That's the ultimate level of boredom-ness.

Wednesday was 4F's bbq cum class gathering! Kelvin and me took 1hr30mins to reach there from hougang! Like !@$#%#^ freaking long sia. I ate like 1 chicken wing 3 marshmellows 2 taiwan sausages 3 fishballs 1 otah nia. So little! Anyway was playing soccer halfway when the security guard came to lock the court. What a wet blanket!

Thursday is the stay-at-home day! All the frequent staying up and intensive sports made me feel a little sick. Let's hope my fever subsides by tml! :)

2007-12-07T18:05:00.000+08:00

Graham aka Pro-m King sleeping on the bus. So unglam LOL.
10/06 guys. Dunno where Chengliang went lol.

Chick and me.

Wow photo with CHAMPION!! Thats rare :)

Eelin and me.

TJCCC 06/07 Gals!

Me and Kyna, ultimate blur queen lol! Bluff me say nvr go prom!

TJCCC 06/07 Guys!

TJCCC 06/07 Gals! Again lol.

Shuhui and me. Lion head =X

Me and Shalynn. My mum LOL!

Me and Siying and Wanting. Siying con me say we took individual photo already. Then turn out nvr -.-''

Haha I nvr upload all the photos cos it would probably take 131244757 years. Not as if I have alot, but you know what I mean :)

Msn me if you want your photos :)

PS: I think I look better with blazer on in the photos LOL

2007-12-05T13:07:00.000+08:00

TJC prom was yday. Starlight Romance, but where's the romance? Quite an okay affair I guess. The food and programme wasn't that important. What's most important is the company that we had. Prom with climbers was certainly great. Haha. Pics up when I feel like uploading them :)

Twang@Zouk after that. Paid $18 to go in and drink lol. Pity I didn't get real high though. Was afraid of getting drunk and doing some funny things. Bel and Graham was high though. Hahaha seeing people get drunk is fun. They chased us out 1 hour earlier though, cause they were suffering losses -.- Reason!

Alot of things have happened recently. Some not particularly pleasant to me, but I guess its good in the sense that it woke me up. Stopped me from dreaming. I realised I was being quite naive, running away from the truth. I thought that maybe, just maybe, there's still something. But I guess I was wrong :( I hope that after this I can finally let it all go. Really.

Rah I'm bored. Anyone up for mahjong-ing? Lol.

2007-11-24T23:53:00.000+08:00

Went down to Suntec today to watch the juniors compete in NSSCC. Congrats to all who got into the finals ;D

Watched The Kingdom too. Okok show if you asked me, not enough of the gunfights scenes and all. But generally still watchable lol.

Saw a shirt at G2000, quite liked it, but don't have my size =(

Saw Eelin on the bus home. What a surprise lol. Thanks Shalynn for the slippers cause it reminded her she owes me a present =X Hehe.

Anyone have any idea of something that is everlasting?

My biggest regret is you. Yes you.

2007-11-23T23:01:00.000+08:00

A levels are over! :)

Abit lag I know, but who cares ;D

Somehow, the realisation that A levels have ended didn't really make me damn excited like how O levels did. Truthfully I kind of miss the JC life already lol.

Got my PSP Slim straight after the last paper. It's lavender purple in colour if you didn't know :)

Tried searching for prom clothes, but didn't manage to find any yet. Gonna look for something soon, prom in <2 weeks time.

Dyed my hair too. Sadly my hair colour not those paikia-ish xD Turned out darker than what I thought it would be like. Sort of brownish-red? Yea use your imagination.

10/06 chalet on Wednesday. The chalet was damn big. 4 bedrooms, 1 double bed, 6 single beds. Like wtf? The biggest chalet I went to lol. BBQ on first night although it kind of rained. Luckily the fire didn't go out. Funny when the girls thought we were taking too long with the fire and tried to do it themselves. Of course they failed =X Didn't sleep at all that night. Second day was spent mostly on playing card games and we tried movie-marathon-ing that night. Lasted 3 movies before I went to sleep lol. Got 1 whole bed to myself cause only like 10 ppl stayed over. Woken up by the girls' loud giggling as they put toothpaste on chengliang -.-'' I kinda miss the chalet already :(

Tml going to Suntec for NSCC to watch the juniors speed climb lol. Hope got somewhere to go out after that, if not like so boring.

EDIT:
Lol I just realised my blog is 1 year old now! Happy birthday to my blog! xD

2007-11-18T23:21:00.001+08:00

Omg I can't wait for tuesday! End of A levels and the day I get my PSP Slim! Woot!

Going to try SOCOM Tactical Strike / Medal of Honor : Heroes 2 / Monster Hunter Freedom 2 / Final Fantasy Tactics : The War of the Lions.

Haha I know it's quite a number of games, but it's the end of A levels and it's time to enjoy! ;P

2007-11-13T18:29:00.000+08:00

Econs: GG!

Operation Damage Control: In Progress

2007-11-10T20:41:00.001+08:00

Woah anyone feeling the same as me right now? I feel like I'm losing steam already. I'm slowing down in studying and nothing seems to go in, and yet I know I can't give up now, not in the middle of things. :(

Arghh somebody force me to study!

2007-11-08T23:56:00.000+08:00

5 days off the calender, another 5 more days of papers to go.

Next week is pure torture, 4 papers in 3 days, but after next week I'm left with 1 paper.

Freedom is coming soon guys, bear with it for 12 more days and we can all go out and have fun.

:D

2007-11-05T14:03:00.001+08:00

LOL ^^

2007-10-31T22:07:00.000+08:00

Happy 18th birthday to me! =D

Haha thanks to all who wished me happy birthday!

2 down, 8 more days of papers to go~

2007-10-24T22:54:00.000+08:00

6 more days to the start of A levels :(

7 more days to my birthday!

And what if I just dropped dead?

2007-10-16T20:21:00.000+08:00

16/10/07

Officially, I have graduated from TJC today. Seems like we are reaching the end of this wonderful 2 years with just one major hurdle left, the A levels. Somehow, I feel that this 2 years spent is quite fulfilling. I wouldn't mind turning back the time to the day we just started JC. How I wish I could go back and experience everything once again. ( Maybe except for several heartbreaking and torturous experiences )

The gift the college gave us was crap =X Ok I know its the thought that counts, but come on you can't deny it sucks! The farewell concert was so-so. The thing I liked most was watching the videos of our past 2 years in TJC ( except for the video that showed pictures from god knows when ) and the teachers' farewell messages. I guess I really needed the extra encouragement :)

Ahh I'm falling sick. Bad timing. Grrr.

Some random pics! Sry I got nothing better to do :)

Anti-gravity! 10/06 W660i-s
Time to mug! Work work work~

2007-10-15T22:35:00.001+08:00

WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING ONLINE?!

2007-10-11T19:24:00.001+08:00

ENLISTMENT ON 9 JAN!

ANYONE SAME DATE?

lol.

2007-10-04T21:04:00.001+08:00

Thanks guys for all the words of appreciation. Greatly appreciated. Well I guess now life returns to normal and its time to move on.

Anyway got back prelim results. Not as good as I expected. Major disappointment in GP, make me emo for 1 whole day. But I guess Im going to push myself harder for A levels. Shall not slack anymore.

Time to chiong!

//Its a lie if I said I didnt

2007-09-26T04:37:00.000+08:00

My grandma just passed away today at around 1AM. She was 75. Around 1.15AM, my mum woke me up and told me the bad news. I sat on the bed for quite a while as it took some time for the message to sink in. Then, the inevitable rush of emotions came. She was gone, just like that. This post is dedicated to my dearest grandma.

Since I was young, she had always been the one taking care of me as both my parents were working. She single-handedly brought me and my brother up and took care of everything in the house. I still remembered she used to carry me around and bring me to the market in the morning. Those were my fondest memories of her. In short, she was more than just a grandmother to me. She was the closest person to me, but thinking back, I realised that I have never really cherished her. Now that she's gone, I'm starting to have regrets.

I still remember the days when I was in lower primary. I had to get up early to wait for the school bus and she was the one who woke up with me and accompanied me downstairs. She was also the one who taught me how to cycle, who bought me my first pair of rollerblades. Everytime I went home after school, she would be the first one I see at home. Every night, I would get to eat her home-cooked dishes. During special occasions, I would get to taste her superb home-made snacks, like pineapple tarts, dumplings, tangyuan etc. Now I have no chance of eating them again. I told her that I wanted to learn how to make those snacks from her, but I didn't make good my promise to her due to studies. Now I have lost the chance, forever.

Looking back, she has always been the one giving and I the one receiving. I failed to show her that I appreciated her and all that she has done. Instead, I took everything for granted. Yet, she has never stopped giving me her love and I know that she loved us dearly.

About 1 year ago, she was diagnosed with cancer. After chemotherapy, she amazingly recovered. It is remarkable as someone her age could still undergo the intensive treatment that leaves people weak and fragile. Somehow she pulled through. And naive me thought that everything was going to be fine, everything was back to normal. How wrong I was. Her cancer came back, more aggressive than ever. The doctor did not have much optimism, considering my grandma's age. However, my grandma still chose to undergo chemotherapy again, as she wanted to fight the cancer. After 2 rounds of chemotherapy, the doctor decided to stop the treatment as it was ineffective and doing more harm than good. The doctor gave her 1-3 months more to live.

On Monday, I visited her as my dad said that she was getting weaker and seemingly unable to hold out for long. True enough, she was gasping for breath even when she slept. It pained me to see her suffering like that. Somehow, she pulled through the night.

I didn't visit her on Tuesday and I really regret my decision. She passed away without me getting a chance to see her for the last time. It really makes me feel that I'm unfilial and useless that I didn't even see her before she passed away. I sure this will haunt me for the rest of my life. The signs were there. Even my mum could sense that the end was near, and yet I was oblivious to it all. I really hate myself for not realising that I was losing her and spend more time with her. I also hate myself for not saying the things I had deep inside me. Everytime I visited her, I didn't know what to say to her, even though I had many things that I wanted to tell her. But somehow, I couldn't do it.

I cried as I watched the casket carrying my grandma's body drive away, as I realised that I would never get to see her again. Due to financial constraints in my family, my mum decided to cremate my grandma tomorrow afternoon. That was my grandmother's wish too, as she knew that my family couldn't afford a grand wake.

My mum told me that the reason why my grandma opted for chemotherapy again was to fight the cancer cells, so that she could have a few more years with us. Even at her deathbed, she was concerned about us and her biggest worry was still us. I cried when I heard this.

My grandmother is the bravest and the strongest person I have ever known. When she was undergoing chemotherapy, she did not complain of pain or had a fear of the many needles poking into her. If it was me, I guess I would not have the courage to bear with the pain. Moreover, I think that not many people at her age can fight off cancer as well as her. At age 74 when she was diagnosed with cancer, she somehow survived the odds and emerged victorious. However, I guess cancer isn't a very good loser. It came back again, fiercer than ever and robbed my grandma from me. But still, I respect my grandma for the fighter in her.

The only thing that I feel is good is that she had passed away in her sleep, peacefully. At the very least, she is now free from her sufferings. I hate to see her suffer and I hate it even more when I can't do anything about it. It makes me feel so helpless.

I realised that I wasn't as strong as I thought I was. I tried to control my emotions but I failed terribly. Tears kept flowing down my face and I couldn't do anything to stop them. Seeing my parents so composed even though they must be as affected as me makes me feel that I am nothing more than just a little kid.

I find it a pity that my grandmother couldn't live to see me turn 18. Couldn't get to see me with my girlfriend. Couldn't get to see me come back from National Service, from boy to man. Couldn't get to see me graduate. Couldn't get to see me off on my first day to work. Life feels different without her. I am who I am now because of her.

This shall be a tribute to my late grandmother, who passed away on 26/09/07 0115hr.

I love you. Thanks for all the love you gave me.

2007-09-25T20:28:00.000+08:00

HAHAHA NEED I SAY MORE? LOL

2007-09-23T22:23:00.000+08:00

Prelims are over and I've been making full use of these 3 short days to make up for what I couldn't do during the prelims period. Whats still lacking is a LAN session (Darren still needs to get thrashed by me in CS).

Well I walked around Marina Square and Orchard yesterday. Window-shopped all the way due to financial constraints. Ain't great when the last time I bought something was damn long ago. Really in need of some new clothes. Went to the airport at night to send Mr Tan off to Ireland. Made me think about how people walk in and out of people's life, just like that.

Soccer in the morning. Woke up damn early when I went to sleep damn late. Didn't get to play that much since it rained like free at around 10. Think I hurt my left ankle too. Whack too much balls liao so now must rest my poor leg.

I don't know why, but I have a short temper lately. I'm pissed at my mum for not giving me money to shop. I'm also pissed when she didn't even give me money to go out. What the hell am I supposed to eat when I don't have money? Even more pissed when the next day she changes her handphone. So much for having no money. Damn it.

//I realised that sometimes, letting go is much better

2007-09-22T00:57:00.000+08:00

It's the end of prelims today! A heavy load out of my mind. Anyway I think I did quite ok this time. At least better than JCTs I hope =)

I'm sunburnt! After 2 and a 1/2 hours of soccer under the hot sun lol. Been so long since I played soccer. Stamina drop like free, run abit tired already. After that went ClimbAsia and climbed abit. Dinner at Swensens', burnt a hole in my pockets but it was great chilling out there haha.

Hmm throughout the whole period of studying for prelims, I seriously wanted to slack, to play soccer, to go online and dota/cs! It was pure torture trying to suppress those urges. Somehow wanted everything to end =/

And I just received some bad news, though it was kind of anticipated. Leads me to wonder why the world is so unfair.

The state my family is in is really screwed. I don't even feel happy at home. I don't want to stay at home! But don't worry it's nothing serious.

*Shoot me, will ya?

2007-09-02T19:21:00.000+08:00

Avril Lavigne-When You're Gone

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
Is made up on your side

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

I never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
And the clothes you left
They lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here foreverI know we were
Yeah Yeah

All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me
Yeah

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
And when you're gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you
Mmm

And I just realised Im left with 7 days to prelims. Die!

2007-08-29T00:54:00.000+08:00

Nice wound of mine there. Got it when I bouldered on monday. You guys should have seen the amount of blood then. Surprisingly it didnt hurt and I didnt even know I was bleeding until sometime later. Well, guess Im going numb from all the things that have happened. Life's boring, with everyone chionging their studies and no one coming online to chat or play. Sian!

2007-08-26T02:50:00.001+08:00

"I wish I didnt do what I did"

"Ignorance is bliss"

"Now I understand what is meant by 'Man proposes, God disposes'"

"Time to study!"

"Someone teach me how to let go of things"

"I feel a void, like something missing inside and its painful"

"Anyone going ClimbOn?"

Just some random thoughts of mine... 3 am is a nice time to blog >.<
Maybe the coffee is keeping me awake... Or maybe its something else... Just like last time...

2007-08-20T19:58:00.000+08:00

My GP tutor told me to start writing like a writer, not as a student today. Hmm maybe it's time to ask LIMZY to be my shifu and teach me those chim words that nobody understands. Lol!

2007-08-17T19:21:00.000+08:00

Let me tell you a story.

There was once this old lady, almost in her eighties.

She had 3 grandchildren, 2 boys and 1 girl. The eldest would probably remember her as the one who carried him around, who brought him to the market and who taught him how to ride a bicycle. Sharing the same bedroom, they shared a bond much like that of mother-and-son.

Maybe it was because she lived through the war. Or maybe that's just her character. Either way, she was strong, a fighter. Stricken with cancer, she managed to undergo chemotherapy and more amazingly, survived it.

He thought it was all over, everything was going to be fine. How wrong he was.

She was diagnosed with cancer again. But this time the doctors were not optimistic. They said the cancer cells were more aggressive now and all they could do was to make her undergo chemotherapy again, to make her live abit longer.

He saw that she was suffering. She used to cook, clean and take care of everything in the house. Now, she couldn't even walk for long. It pained him, but he didn't know what to say. Whenever he recalled the memories, he cried.

One day, his mum told him what his grandmother had said when a social worker asked her, "What's on your mind now?"

His grandmother replied in cantonese, "我的孙子."

Hearing this, he cried.

2007-08-15T20:07:00.001+08:00

Thanks for the ice-cream! =D

2007-08-11T13:07:00.000+08:00

TJCCC 06/07 farewell yesterday. Played some soccer, dunked some ppl, waterbombed others, quite fun except for the complaining residents and kp security guards zz. Kind of liked Mr Tan's powerpoint about our experiences, but I know it's nothing compared to what we remember deep in our hearts.

I had forgotten how to cry, thanks for reminding me

Just realised Philip and Kelly have been visiting our blogs. Well a big thanks to the both of you, for the encouraging words and motivating message. It's been real nice to get to know you all :)

Thanks for the 31 hours you gave me

It really came as a shock, totally unexpected. But what more can I do?

Broken at 0151

I feel like I'm going to lose everything thats close to me, everything that I care for =(

Anyway, thanks for even giving me a chance

2007-08-06T20:16:00.000+08:00

Well been too lazy to blog, anyway nth interesting happens...

Everyone around me has like started studying, more or less... But I still slacking sia... And if you all think Im mindgaming then so be it... Guess I should start to study soon, 5 weeks left to prelims! But I've been saying that for the past 2 weeks still no action lol...

Seriously its hard to get myself to just sit down and study... Quite tempted to play games, soccer etc... And theres something I got to do... Hopefully turns out alright :)

2007-08-01T21:52:00.000+08:00

I really wonder why is life so unfair. Giving one hope after inflicting a loved one with suffering, pain that we can never imagine, only to crush it in a matter of months. Why do good people always have to suffer? Why my grandma of all people? She took care of me when I was still a child and I feel closer to her than to my parents. To get cancer again after recovering from it just barely a few months ago is devastating. Just when I thought everything could be back to normal, this had to happen. I guess most people wont understand what my family went through the first time she was diagnosed with cancer and I wont go too much into it. It was a tough period then and I believe it would be tougher now. Well I guess its all fated. We can run, but we cant hide.

Anyway on a sidenote, I got gold for NAPFA today. Not a big achievement I know, but just felt like putting it here.

2007-07-27T23:01:00.000+08:00

Wa lazy to blog sia... Everyone studying and Im still in the playing mood lol... Hmm I should start studying soon!

Lets see... Had soccer interhouse on Wednesday... Sadly din make it thru the semis... But nvm quite fun to play soccer after so long... Climbed today after school... Realised my endurance is shit now =(... Too long nvr train liao... Haiz...

Around 6 more weeks to prelims? GG

2007-07-22T17:08:00.001+08:00

Wahahah I finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows already... Quite a nice book although with lots of death... Shall not say too much else I become spoiler... =D

2007-07-18T21:14:00.000+08:00

Interhouse soccer competition today! Im glad to say that both Beta teams made it into the semifinals... Lucky my team got good players... Which means I didnt have to do much :)...

Semifinals next wednesday... But the thing is, Beta team 2 is up against Beta team 1 in the semis... -.-''

2007-07-17T20:58:00.001+08:00

Okok Shalynn got me to do some quiz cos she was bored -.-
So heres the results-

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.
The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.
Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

2007-07-14T19:59:00.001+08:00

From this...

to this...

Went down to help out at ClimbAsia on Thursday again... Reached there at 7 and took over from Eelin, Rachel, Shuhui and Chicken... Me, Darren, Graham, Jingwen, Rongjun and Weicheng started screwing tiles on... Worked until 1030 and reached home at 12... Tiring sia... And there's school the next day... Lol anyway here's some pictures of the new bouldering area :)

MARTIAN ATTACK!!! =P

BEFORE

AFTER

All credits go to Graham cos he dropped the tile =/

Watched Harry Potter and the Order Of The Phoenix on Friday... With Eelin, Bel, Darren and Terence... Abit disappointed with the show... Shan't say too much in case I reveal too much spoilers... :)

Just came back from the NTU chemistry concept test... Funny test... Ended up guessing most of the time =X Who wants to see the questions come look for me haha...

JCT results: C C D D S

2007-07-10T18:46:00.000+08:00

Sunday was spent at ClimbAsia... Me, bel, darren, jingwen and weicheng all went down to help out... We became construction workers from 11-6... Moved stuff here and there... However it was quite fun working there... Ivan was driving us to and fro in the lorry and he imba one... Speeding like nth... In the small roads which is so narrow he also chiong... Haha but quite thrilling...

Some pictures of the new gym ( dunno if im allowed to post this but anyway )

Tiles...

More tiles...

The climbing wall...

Another view of the climbing wall...

The unfinished boulder walls...

After all the hard work, we went for the party at the old gym... They had planned a game which involved us taking down tiles for them... The tiles had stickers on the back of them, either a lucky draw number or an instant prize... Smart move sia... Like that they get us to take down tiles for them lol... Weicheng imba won 2 instant prizes... One is the $99 hydra-pack... Lol... I only got 5 lucky draw numbers... And jingwen got 8 >.<

I won this big bucket of chalk! =D

2007-07-08T00:27:00.000+08:00

I wonder if it's really that hard to turn up... I can even turn down a soccer game with my friends just to go... Now one by one all pangseh... Damn sian... I'm not just disappointed, I'm also pissed... It's like one of the few remaining times we can go out together as a club before we start mugging for prelims and a levels... Really dun understand people sometimes...

Maybe some of the people have their reasons... But I sort of think thats just an excuse not to go... It was said quite long ago that on Sunday its ClimbAsia's last day at the current location before it moves... I dun see what kind of important stuff that can suddenly crop up... In the end it boils down to choice... I guess they just chose not to go thats all...

I respect that people have choices... And I'm not shooting anyone here... So just go on and choose what you all want... I have no right to interfere anyway... I just felt like saying how I feel about this whole thing...

Quoted from Darren: "So much for family"

2007-07-03T20:57:00.000+08:00

Well my entry today would be kinda in response to darren's entry... If you dun know wad I'm talking about just go to his blog and take a look...

So first things first... I admit I was in the wrong for 'snatching' the psp... My bad... I apologise... But seriously dun you think it would be much better to tell me straight in the face right there and then... Instead of coming online and type one whole load of bullshit...

Secondly... You claim I dont help you buy soya bean drink? In my memory, which I dun think is failing me yet, I DID help you buy before... And I think you still owe me the 50cents... But whatever thats not the point... Do you think its fair to make such a sweeping statement as to I NEVER help you buy before? Well then maybe I should NOT help you buy anything from now on...

Thirdly... Like Terence said... If I was as 'bastard' as wad Darren narrated me to be... Then I wonder who the fuck was that who took time to talk to him when he emo just because he cant fucking do a route... I wonder who the fuck took pains to try to talk to some ppl over some problem someone had... And faced their wrath in the process... Damn unworthy I would say... It wasnt even my fucking business to begin with...

Lastly and the one which I damn buay song... Im fine if you want to shoot me on your blog... BUT WAD THE F*** YOU BRING IN EELIN'S NAME ALSO... You dun see me putting Claire here and there right... F****** brainless... And Im letting you in on a secret... You speak without thinking it through and obviously it affected others... Though I wonder if you even realised it... Believe me, go and ask around...

Anyway this post is purely about how I feel over wad Darren wrote... And I suppose Im entitled to such freedom also... If you somehow find this post offensive then I suggest you move your mouse cursor to the top right corner of the page and click the 'X' there...

2007-06-30T01:15:00.000+08:00

JCTS ARE OVER!!!

Time to celebrate! Although not say I do very well also... But anyway its good riddance to JCTs...

So on Thursday, straight after Chemistry paper its bfield time! 3 hours of bfield sure makes the eyes go blur... After that time for dinner! At ard 9 like that... And after dinner you know what? WE WENT BACK AND PLAY LOL... We played until 12+ then no bus home liao... Like despos sia... Heng my father come fetch or else I walk home...

Today another relaxing day... Early in the morning go play mahjong... Play 2 whole rounds and I won $4 lol... After that rush down to TM for TRANSFORMERS!

Wa I tell you Transformers is one great movie... Or maybe its cos Im a guy thats why transformers rocked... Anyway the machines are damn cool! Starscream the coolest la... F-22 Raptor fighter jet! xD

THE FEMALE LEAD IN THE MOVIE IS DAMN HOT! LOL!

2007-06-23T22:07:00.000+08:00

I'm suddenly wondering why the hell did I take econs in the first place... Tried to study econs today... Forcing econs into my brain would be more accurate... And I just realised I dun understand anything about it... Market structure sucks... All the funny graphs and all zz... Market failure also gg... And the rest is untouched... I find studying for other subjects much easier sia... Reading thru econs can suddenly halfway ask myself "Eh wad I studying ah?" then have to flip back to find out... Really feel like giving up on econs... Just go into the exam hall and write crap... =(

2007-06-21T21:42:00.000+08:00

Just realised thats theres nth to blog about nowadays... E=mc^2 or a.b=|a||b|cos theta doesnt sound very interesting lol... Nvm one more week to short lived freedom before the real deal come... Lets all go and enjoy after jct! =D

2007-06-19T22:51:00.000+08:00

AHH I think all this studying is making me go crazy... Been quite short tempered lately... Rahhh...

2007-06-19T01:05:00.001+08:00

Just watch!

2007-06-16T19:19:00.000+08:00

I just realised that there's still 8 more days to JCT... Wahaha... And I haven touched econs and physics... Chem left organic, thermo and electro... Maths left about half of the topics... Seriously gg lol... Not enough time to study sia...

SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!! =X

2007-06-11T22:24:00.000+08:00

NO MORE DOTA IN THE MORNING!!! DUN JIO ME ANYMORE!!! =X

Ok made up my mind not to dota in the morning liao... Cannot make it sia... I only studied 1 chpt of chemistry today... After 3 rounds of dota zzz... And after that 1 chpt of studying was so tired that I went back to sleep -.-''

So now I think I should dota only in the night =X... At least I can study in the morning and afternoon before playing... Wahahha...

Lesson of the day: High hopes brings greater disappointment! But got hope is better than no hope! =O

2007-06-11T00:36:00.000+08:00

And yet another day passed without studying at all... Whats worse is that Im left with 2 weeks to study everything... Haha guess I really need to chiong... Sian study study study...

Been in quite a bad mood today... Mood swings? Lol... But I think Im ok liao... Nth much to get angry at...

Quote of the day: Study more climb less xD

2007-06-08T21:00:00.000+08:00

Had dinner at Bedok 85 market with the climbers on Thursday... Really ate alot sia... Bak chor mee, stingray, chicken wings, oyster omelette and mango ice kachang... Eat until I poor haha... After that went to bfield... Now even poorer...

Today went back school for rope ascending as part of our lvl 2 course... Went parkway parade have lunch... Mr Tan joined us too... Ate pastamania in which I almost puked from all the cream lol... We went bfield AGAIN... With Mr Tan this time lol...

I guess its time for me to study... Half of the holidays have gone... And I "studied" like 4 chpts of chemistry... -.-''

2007-06-04T16:36:00.000+08:00

Some pictures of PUMPFEST 2007 @ VivoCity...

Me completing a route during qualifying rounds =D

Having fun on Terence's route in the finals... See Kelvin's cheeky grin? Thats cos he was owning =P

Shalynn and me before Shuhui got squashed by the glass doors xD

Results for the finals... See my name?

Crazy ppl doing crazy stuff =X

Randomness...

The last pic of tjccc at a comp... Everyone was happy and that's wads most impt =)

Ok so thats about all the pics I have right now... Upload more when theres more pics...

Anyway... I decided to study after Pumpfest... And you know what? DOTA RELEASED VERSION 6.44... WTF... HOW TO STUDY LIKE THAT... GG FOR JCT LOL...

2007-06-04T00:41:00.000+08:00

4TH FOR PUMPFEST NOVICE MEN CATEGORY!!!

Pumpfest @ VivoCity is officially over... And with it goes our last official competition... Sad-ed =(...

But I would say this was the best comp we ever had as a club... Everyone put in their best efforts and we did not let philip, the teachers, tjccc members and most importantly ourselves down =)...

Congratulations to Claire for getting 1st in Novice Women, Kelvin for getting 1st in Novice Men, Eleanor for getting 1st in Intermediate Women and TJC Team 1 for getting 3rd in School Category... In short, WE OWNED =D

-pics coming up later =X

2007-05-29T22:41:00.000+08:00

Okayy so todays the last training in tjccc for all of us... Emo emo lol... Nth much in trng... Just tried to make the best of everything... After trng went to play battlefield... AGAIN... And this time we played for 5 hours... -.- wasted $10...

PUMPFEST is happening on 1-3 June @ VivoCity... Last competition for us also... Shall try to make it a TJC FINALS xD

I WILL MISS THE CLIMBING CLUB!!

But its not the end... yet... =D

2007-05-28T13:11:00.000+08:00

Well I had nth to do and shalynn was psychoing me to create the test... So here it is lol...
Create your own Friend Test here
Have fun xD

2007-05-26T21:13:00.000+08:00

Thursday 24 May

Start of Sports Carnival... Woke up at 540 and reached school by 650... Needed to belay the House Capts for abseiling...

After that the Inter-PDP games started... Played foosball first... Sadly we lost to tennis -.-... Next game tug-of-war... Sent in our best team... They got second because of the muddy ground... Couldnt even stand properly lol... Floorball next... I think we played quite well la... Although we didnt make it to the finals or whatever... Haha...

Was watching them play dodgeball when graham ask me to play foosball again... This time was against soccer... Seriously they sucked... Got owned by me... The ball didnt even go past me in like the first few mins... The malay guy so lousy keep getting tackled by me... Dunno how he got into soccer also... Could see he getting quite buay song... He must be thinking "Wtf I in soccer and I getting owned by someone in climbing"... Chao loser... Desperate liao he anyhow whack the ball... Hit shuhui's injured knee somemore... Nabei dunno how to play dun play la... Quite pissed at him... Then he no balls quickly get someone to substitute him... If not I sure whack the ball at him til he cry sia... In the end we lost to them 3-1 by some fluke goals... Damn buay song... Finally understood why TJC soccer team suck so much... Cant even win ppl in climbing club without putting in much effort... Lousy shits...

The games ended by 1230... Went to watch Pirates of the Carribean : At World's End with the club... We booked seats earlier so we got the back rows... Quite nice the movie... One of the rare times the club watched a movie together... After that we had some time before we needed to go back to school for the stayover... So some of them came my house... Played some mahjong... Lost $10 lol... Then rushed back to school cause we were late...

The guys sneaked out and went to play battlefield 2 while the girls stayed in school... Played until 3am lol... Then walked back to school... Surprisingly the girls were awake... Thought they sure sleep one cause they said they were tired... Thats the power of gossiping haha... Most of them went to sleep soon after we came back... Maybe we disturbed their gossiping... Anyway I stayed up and played some card games... Slept at 6 and woke up at 7...

Friday 25 May

Another day of Sports Carnival... Today is Inter-CG games I think... Had to belay ppl who were interested to climb... After my shift I fell asleep on a chair lol... Really damn tired...

After it ended like around 1 we went to play battlefield 2 again -.- haha... Like addicted sia...
Eelin played also... Get owned by us =X lol... I played until 4 and went home... Slept from 5 to the next day 7 in the morning...

Saturday 26 May

Had trng today... Sort of like the last trng with our coach liao... Quite saddening sia... Everything's gonna end soon... And I got to hit the books... Sian... I rather be up on Gunung Stong or at Batu Caves (MICASA!!!) then studying lol... Kinda starting to miss the old times =(

2007-05-22T16:18:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning with a painful Achilles tendon in my right leg...
It just came suddenly... Yday night everything was still fine...
Think maybe its because of saturday's training at climbasia...
Had a fall there which wasnt very good...
Landed on my right leg... My entire body weight was on that foot...
Maybe strained the tendon there...
But dunno why now then start to hurt...
Sian hope it recovers quickly...
Pumpfest is coming and I still want to train...
Zzz...

2007-05-19T19:32:00.000+08:00

Went climbasia for training today...
Did quite a number of routes...
Good training I guess... Haha...
Actually was planning to go Clarke Quay to watch Rockmasters...
But in the end didnt go...
Cos abit tired... So come home and play dota =X

Lol and I was quite bored...
So I went to take an IQ test I saw on rachel's blog...
My IQ is 118 haha...
For those interested the link is below...
http://www.iqtest.dk/main.swf

I was just wondering...
If Im stuck at a particular route for quite some time...
Should I continue to hang on the route and hope for the better...
Or should I let go and move on to another route?
Hmm...
What would you do? Lol...

2007-05-18T22:02:00.000+08:00

Im sorry 10/06... Especially to the gals...
I know I was a bastard and all for not helping out...
For that I apologise...
But I have to say that I didnt help out not cos I wanted to slack...
Its cos I didnt like the way the school made us do the clean up...
If it was cleaning up for something meaningful I believe I would have no qualms about doing it...
But cleaning up just because of college day and 3 MPs are coming... No thx...
So what if the MPs come... President want to come I also dun care...
For fuck we make the school clean just for them... No sense to me...
And then the school so fucking stingy...
Dun provide this dun provide that clean wad shit...
Pails, rags, newspaper must ownself bring...
And I heard that detergent need to buy also...
Wtf sia...
And yea its cos I feel that Im like forced to do something...
Thats why I didnt want to help out...
Yea so do forgive me...
If next time got such things I just dun turn up...
Then nth will happen liao...

2007-05-15T19:15:00.000+08:00

RockMasters @ Singapore Polytechnic

Saturday was the Novice category qualifiers...
The routes was all damn long sia...
First time see such long routes in bouldering comp lol...
But I think we all did well...
Congrats to all those who qualified for finals...
Have fun in Pumpfest Intermediate category... =P
Haha... Anyway I got 21st position...
Out of a total of 106 participants...
I think quite good ba... Hope Pumpfest can even better...
Then can get into finals... =D

2007-05-07T16:55:00.000+08:00

Makes Me Wonder by Maroon 5

I wake up with blood-shot eyes
Struggled to memorize
The way it felt between your thighs
Pleasure that made you cry

Feels so good to be bad
Not worth the aftermath, after that
After that, try to get you back

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you

[Chorus]
Give me something to believe in
'Cause I don't believe in you anymore, anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to try, yeah
So this is goodbye

God damn I'm standing here
Decisions that made my bed
Now I must lay in it
And deal with things I left unsaid

I want to dive into you
Forget what you're going through
I get behind, make your move
Forget about the truth

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you

[Chorus]
Give me something to believe in
'Cause I don't believe in you anymore, anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference
It even makes a difference to try

[Chorus 2]
And it's over, heard the feeling
But I don't believe it's true anymore, anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
(Oh no)
So this is goodbye

I've been here before
One day a week
And it won't hurt anymore

You caught me in a lie
I have no alibi
The words you say don't have a meaning

Cause I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you
and I...and so this is goodbye

[Chorus]
Give me something to believe in
'Cause I don't believe in you anymore, anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference
It even makes a difference to try

[Chorus 2]
And it's over, heard the feeling
But I don't believe it's true anymore, anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
(Oh no)
So this is goodbye

(Oh no)
Yeah, so this is goodbye
(Oh no)
Yeah, so this is goodbye
(Oh no)
Yeah, so this is goodbye

2007-05-06T13:02:00.000+08:00

It's Sunday and Im supposed to do my tutorials and stuff...
Notice the word "supposed"?
Cos I haven been able to do anything lol...
Damn sian when I take out the tutorials...
Not to mention doing them...
So here I am online and playing games =X
Haha...

Anyway yday was Saturday...
Went SP to boulder... 2nd time we were there...
Quite good to try the walls again cos RockMasters will be held there...
I think I didnt do as badly as the past few days...
At least I felt better...
Didnt feel lousy haha...

After trng went to watch spiderman 3...
With claire darren graham bel and terence...
All the shows selling fast...
Meant that we had to sit at first few rows...
Not that I really minded haha...
Quite nice the show...
And with bel mumbling "bloody slut" when mj kissed harry it was definitely funny...
Lol...

2007-05-03T19:58:00.000+08:00

Ok so I havent been updating...
No fault of mine...
My comp was spoilt =/

Friday 27 April
Stayed in sch until 1130pm...
Was helping philip test routes, belay etc...
Reached home at 12...

Saturday 28 April
Climb X today...
Had to reach sch by 7...
Meaning that I woke up at 530...
Slept ard 5 hours...
Haha... Quite tired for the rest of the day...

But Climb X was quite a meaningful experience for all of us...
First time organising an event like this...
And having nth screw up felt real good...
Congrats to all the climbers who competed...

Monday 30 April
Sports meet...
Ran 4x100m for climbing club...
Came in last =X
Haha but it doesnt matter la...
Wasnt expecting to win anyway...

Tuesday 1 May
Labour day!
Went climbasia with Terence and Darren...
Trained awhile...
After that my fingertips was all raw liao...
Studied in MOS Burger at PS...
Finished my nuclear physics tutorial...
While terence and darren niao each other lol...
Had dinner at Cafe Cartel...
St Louis Pork Ribs haha...

Wednesday 2 May
Had trng today...
Felt sort of off-form today...
No idea why...
Hope Friday's trng is more productive... :)

2007-04-23T22:06:00.000+08:00

Well its been quite awhile since I last blogged...
Nothing much happened anyway...
Just the normal studying and training...
Anyway this Saturday is Climb X...
Organised by us...
But Im not competing...
Doesnt matter anyway cos I know I aint that good in climbing...
Its more fun to watch other ppl compete...
This week is gonna be hectic...
Wednesday take down tiles from overhang and panel wall...
Sure stay back until quite late...
Thursday after school take down tiles from baby roof...
Then Friday its time to put up the tiles and test the routes...
Im gonna be dead tired...
Hope the days pass by real soon...

Anyway on a more sombre note...
If any of you had noticed on the news...
The body of the girls swept away in the canal had been found...
Heres the link to the article...
http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/271997/1/.html

I was just wondering...
If it happened to someone close to me...
How would I react?
I guess its gonna be hard to accept that someone around me would just cease to exist...
It would seem like a bad joke wont it?
But I guess thats just how life is...
Have to learn to accept reality and move on...

2007-04-17T18:48:00.000+08:00

Ben & Jerry's Free Cone Day is today!
Haha I went down to White Sands after school...
Quite alot of ppl there...
So I tried their chocolate brownie flavour...
Its nice...
But its expensive if I had to pay for it...
Lol $4.50 for one scoop is abit too ex for me la...
Im poor =/

2007-04-11T23:42:00.000+08:00

Wtf...
I just saw a shooting star on my way home lol...
I was walking and suddenly I just looked up...
And I saw something greenish streaking downwards...
It was gone in an instant too...
Haha...
I guess it sort of lifted my mood by a little...
Hope that things go the way I hope they would...

2007-04-10T19:10:00.000+08:00

What Hurts The Most -Rascal Flatts

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That's what I was trying to do
Ooohhh....

-------------------------------------

A very nice song...
Aptly describes how I feel too...

~maybe its time to let go, maybe its better for everyone

2007-04-09T20:08:00.000+08:00

Today on the bus home...
Some funny ppl came on the bus...
Among them, one took out his handphone and started blasting music...
I could count like 5 ppl turning around to stare at him, including me...
But he bochap continue to irritate ppl...

Well but maybe we should sympathise with such ppl...
Maybe he dont have money to buy earphones...
Simply cant afford it... Lol...

Or maybe he's being generous...
He's generous with his music...
He want to share his music with everyone...
(But his taste of music sucks =/)

Haha so thats a disturbance in my otherwise perfectly mundane afternoon...

*off to study ionic equilibrium*

2007-04-06T15:36:00.000+08:00

Figured it was about time to update...
Been ages since I last blogged haha...
But not my fault la...
Nothing much interesting happens the past few days anyway...
My life is boring =(
Lol anyway later going out soon...
Some scouts dinner...
Haha just meeting up with each other...
Been quite long since we got together after graduating from sec sch...
Everyone's been busy with their lives lol...

Time to change a new song!

Face Down

Hey girl you know you drive me crazy
One look puts the rhythm in my hand.
Still I'll never understand why you hang around
I see what's going down.

Cover up with make up in the mirror
Tell yourself it's never gonna happen again
You cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
Every action in this world will bear a consequence
If you wade around forever you will surely drown
I see what's going down.

I see the way you go and say your right again,
Say your right again
Heed my lecture.

Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end.

As your lies crumble down a new life she has.
Face down in the dirt she says,
This doesn't hurt,
She says i've finally had enough. (repeat)

One day she will tell you that she has had enough
Its coming round again.

Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

Face down in the dirt she says,
This doesn't hurt
She says I finally had enough...

2007-03-24T23:51:00.000+08:00

Pictures!!! But only got some of the girls =X

I quite like this picture... The move quite nice... Im a good photographer lolx...

2007-03-24T11:03:00.000+08:00

Boulderactive 2007 @ Plaza Singapura

Yday was the first boulder comp that I participated in...
Glad to say that I didnt suffer much from any perfomance anxiety...
Went out there, did my best, didnt have much regrets except for the first route lol...
Overall the whole comp was quite enjoyable...
Plus the mini-stunt I did at the last wall =D
Im quite satisfied with my score of 2 flashes and 1 top...
Came in 30th position...
Although I didnt get into the finals...
But well I didnt disappoint anyone, especially myself...
According to Philip, our performance as a club yday was one of the best that he had seen...
And I quite agree...
All of us went all out and its quite obvious that some of us really put in the extra effort to make it count...
In the end Terence Weicheng and Eleanor got into the finals...
Not bad a showing...
Hope they can own the finals routes just like they owned the routes in the qualifiers...
Haha...

Rongjun performed well yday...
3 flashes and 1 top...
Ranked 11th... Suay la him or else he would be in the finals liao...
Haha he was nervous as hell before the comp...
Jingwen and me was psycho-ing him from morning til the time he competed...
Before he left the isolation zone, Jingwen told him "Its just the routes and you"
And I gave him 3 words "Go for it"
Lol guess those words really had an effect on him...
Really glad that he could pull himself together and keep himself composed...
Well now Im gonna take the 3 words I gave him and use it for myself... =P

-Pictures coming later... Paiseh I only have pictures of some of the girls climbing nia... Cos camera cock up =X

2007-03-15T20:12:00.000+08:00

Grace Kelly by Mika

Do I attract you?
Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
Am I too dirty?
Am I too flirty?
Do I like what you like?

I could be wholesome
I could be loathsome
I guess Im a little bit shy
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you like me without making me try?

I try to be like Grace Kelly
But all her looks were too sad
So I try a little Freddie
Ive gone identity mad!

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you walk out the door!

How can I help it
How can I help it
How can I help what you think?
Hello my baby
Hello my baby
Putting my life on the brink
Why dont you like me
Why dont you like me
Why dont you like yourself?
Should I bend over?
Should I look older just to be put on the shelf?

I try to be like Grace Kelly
But all her looks were too sad
So I try a little Freddie
Ive gone identity mad!

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you walk out the door!

Say what you want to satisfy yourself
But you only want what everybody else says you should want

I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more

Why dont you like me?
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you walk out the door!

2007-03-14T23:11:00.000+08:00

Well I got into trouble with the om again...
The story goes like this...
We just ended training...
And we went to bathe and everything...
We were going to the Suntec food fair ma...
So of course we were dressed in outside clothes...
When we were leaving the school...
We saw the om standing around the bouldering area...
Knew we sure kanna his guai lan-ning...
He kaobei those wearing slippers...
Talk a lot of cock...
Ask them to go guardhouse write name...
I mean... How lame can one get... -.-
Like that he also happy...
Well we were all originally in good mood one lor...
He come ruin all the mood...
Of course I buay song la...
Those who know me wouldnt find this weird...
I kaobei him back la...
I just replied ya ya ya and walk away...
Cb and he run after me ask me come back...
So much for freedom of speech...
Make me go all the way to his office...
Write some stupid things...
Called Mr Tan and complain...
Trying to intimidate me by asking me to see him on Monday...
Go see DM...
I just get the feeling that the om always like to act big nia...
Likes to show the students that he's "bigger" than them if you get what I mean...
Of course I not happy with this kind of ppl la...
No life sia... Knn...
And I tell you alot of ppl also dun like him lor...
See his face turn off liao...
Damn stupid la... He doesnt even have common sense...
Ppl go out of course wear outside clothes la...
Which idiot go out in school uniform one...
Whats more they only say we are supposed to wear school-based attire TO school...
They nvr mention that we cant wear outside clothes coming OUT from school...
And this guy bo dai bo ji come kajiao us...
He damn free la...

This guai lan kia should feel honoured I devoted a whole entry on him sia...
F*** him

2007-03-12T20:16:00.000+08:00

Yday chalet at costa sands downtown east...
Supposedly it was rongjun's class chalet...
But since their class ppl all went home we went over and hijacked the place lol...
The room damn small la...
Around 10 ppl cram inside...
But nvm la free one =/

Haha played mahjong the whole day...
First session from around 5 play to 8 plus...
Lost $30 sia...
Second and third session all the way from 11 to 5 plus...
Win back $20...
Heart not so pain xD...

Now damn tired...
Yday dint get to sleep...
Today came home sleep 3 hours then wake up go school for maths extra lesson...
Abit waste my time there la...
Cos I spent my time doing the tutorial instead of listening to the teacher... =X

Time for games! Bye~ LoL...

2007-03-09T22:51:00.000+08:00

Well everything's fine now I guess...
Now can talk to each other normally and stuff like that...
Im glad its over... Was quite torturing sia...
Haha :)

This I Promise You
Ooh, ooh

When the visions around you
Bring tears to your eyes
And all that’s around you
Are secrets and lies
I’ll be your strength
I’ll give you hope
Keeping your faith when it’s gone
The one you should call
Was standing here all along

And I will take you in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
‘Til the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you

I’ve loved you forever
In lifetimes before
And I promise you never
Will you hurt anymore
I give you my word
I give you my heart
(Give you my heart)
This is a battle we’ve won
And with this vow
Forever has now begun

Just close your eyes each lovin’ day
(Each lovin’, each lovin’ day)
And know this feeling won’t go away
(No)
‘Til the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you

Over and over I fall
(Over and over I fall)
When I hear you call
Without you in my life, baby
I just wouldn’t be living at all

And I will take you in my arms
(I will take you in my arms)
And hold you right where you belong
(Right where you belong)
‘Til the day my life is through
This I promise you, baby

Just close your eyes each lovin’ day
(Each lovin’ day)
And know this feeling won’t go away
(No)
Every word I say is true
This I promise you

Every word I say is true
This I promise you
Ooh, I promise you

2007-03-06T21:11:00.000+08:00

Im beginning to have doubts...
I guess that she doesnt even care...
She can just insult me over something as small as a card game...
And its not the first time la...
I have been putting up with it...
But people have limits dont they...
Showed her I was unhappy and hurt...
But no, no reaction at all...
I dun expect an apology la cos I know thats how she is when she gambles...
But wth Im human aint I...
Whats more we have been friends for like 4 years?
And seeing her treat other ppl nicer than how she treats me in front of others does make me feel quite insignificant...
You can say Im jealous... Whatever la I dun really care...
But what confuses me is the way she treats me when its just the 2 of us...
I can tell you that its totally different from the way she treats me in front of others...
Its just when theres only the 2 of us that I feel that she treats me as someone who she knows for 4 years...
I really dun understand...
Actually such remarks from other ppl wouldnt have any effect on me...
I would simply brush it off...
What hurts the most is that it came from someone I like...
Even though Im not sure if she knows...
But even as a friend, such remarks sure hurts...
And I assure you the feeling inside is something that you wont want to feel...

It hurts, real bad...